Bloom becomes a lifeguard
by Phil From Produce
Summary: Tagline: a Oneshot of a fairy becoming a lifeguard. [] Bloom decides to become a lifeguard. But can she do it with Codatorta as an instructor? [Rated T for teen [] contains Mild coarse langauge, some suggestive themes]


Bloom becomes a lifeguard (oneshot)

Tagline: A oneshot of a fairy trying to be a lifeguard.

Summary: Bloom Decides to become a lifeguard. But all Hell breaks loose when Cordatorta becomes her Instructor.

Rated: T 14A (Frightening Parts, Suggestive sexual content, Coarse language )

-----------------------------------------------------------

There was a few scenes that they never showed you in the episode when Bloom helped rescue Stella

in the battle with Mr. Knut.

Like when Stella was helping Bloom clean her room.

"Bloom, you have a big room. It's been about half an hour since we started cleaning it."

"Yeah." Responded Bloom

Bloom then cleaned out from under her bed.A poster came out.

"Woah! Who's that?" asked Stella

"Oh, my mom's old poster." said Bloom

"Then how come it says 'Bloom's' on the back?" asked Stella

"Ok!I admit I had a crush on David Hasselhoff, the guy who was in Baywatch."

"Baywatch? What was that?" asked Stella

"It was a show about a bunch of lifeguards who rescued people." said Bloom

"I think he's cute! Can I have the poster?" asked Stella

"Sure." said Bloom.

Well, that was a mark in history. Stella finds out about David Hasselholf.

Well, about a year later, Bloom was looking for a job. You know, she was 16 and was starting to get tired

of getting money from her parents.

She talked to Stella about it one day.

"I'm thinking about getting a job."

"Well, summer's coming up. There's plenty of jobs open then." said Stella

"I guess." said Bloom

"Hold on. Bloom, remember the David Hasselholf poster?" asked Stella

"Yeah, why?"

"How about you train to be a lifeguard!" said Stella

"It's a great idea!"

------

The local YMCA was having their lifesaving training course happening.

When Bloom signed up for it, and came to her first class, this was the first thing she said.

"This was never a good idea."

Stella, was watching her from a viewing room above.

"Don't say that! This is a good idea! Look at all those boys there! Aren't they cute?"

"I guess."

Bloom walked over to them. A good sum of them stared at her. One of them sat down beside her.

"Hey, I'm Mark. What's you name?" he asked

"I'm Bloom."

"Wanna be friends? I'm new to this." said Mark

"Me too. Sure!"

Of course friends aren't made that easy, but Bloom could tell this guy wanted to be a friend.

Then the instructor came out. It was Cordatorta. The big dude from red fountain.

"Stand up straight! Welcome to this class! I'm gonna turn you little asswipes into Lifeguards!"

Bloom stood up straight, along with Mark.

"Ok, first off! Do any of you know how to swim?"

Everyone put their hands up.

"Good! Does anyone here know how to swim, but you swim like a goddamn Cat, as in, you don't usually like to swim?"

One boy didn't put his hand up.

"Then get your ass out of here!"

The boy left the pool.

"Ok, the rest of you! Get into your speedos and do 3 laps!"

The boys walked for their changeroom and so did Bloom into the other. The boys got out earlier than Bloom.

A good sum of them had speedos, a few more had long shorts. And when Bloom walked out, all the boys just looked at her.

_What? I'm just trying to become a lifeguard, _she thought

Cordatorta just sighed.

"God, why did you have to put a damn Baywatch girl in my hands?" he said

Anyways, they started swimming in laps. Bloom was halfway in the pool when the other boys already finished one lap.

"Get moving, Baywatch girl! Otherwise i'll release the crocodile!"

Bloom swam faster. W_hat does he mean by the crocodile?_ she thought.

All the boys finished their 3 laps, bloom was just ending the 2nd.

Cordatorta just kept on yelling "Speed up! You're slowing the class down!"

Bloom was at the halfway point, and turned backwards, towards the pool's shallow end.

Cordatorta then pulled a remote out of his pocket.A few boys then began to snicker. They knew what was going on.

Mark, being a good friend, saw it and yelled.

"Bloom! Look out! He's released the crocodile!"

Bloom looked behind her and saw a huge thing coming at her. She screamed and swam like crazy towards the shallow end.

Everyone, but Mark laughed at her.

"Oh my god! save me!"

Cordatorta just laughed as he played with a switch on the remote. The crocodile open and closed it's mouth rapidly.

"Robotic. It's a training tool!" he said

"But you scared me!" said Bloom "And why did you call me the Baywatch girl?"

"Only a girl who thinks she is cute wears a damned bikini! If you have a one piece, wear it next time. You'll swim faster with it!"

The rest of the class involved jumping jacks and swimming on their backs. (cool, that rhymed)

and when the boys and Bloom got tired, Cordatorta yelled at them.

"You nipple hairs swim like old people having sex! Slow and sloppy! Get your asses moving!"

A lot of the older boys laughed at it, Bloom didn't. Nor did Mark. Cordatorta had more things to say, but many not worth repeating.

At the end of the day, Cordatorta told them the drill for next class.

"Next class, you guys with the long shorts, get a speedo, because when you're a lifeguard, you'll sit on your ass all day so no

one will see it!"

Bloom stepped out and saw Stella. Sky was there, too.

"So that's the kind of language cordatorta uses when he's not working" said Sky

Cordatorta watched Bloom from a distance. He was lifting some weights in the weightroom.

"I'm gonna have to tell Sky to not be around Bloom too much. She's gonna need some more training."

Bloom gotback to alfea in about 10 minutes.

Bloom sat in her dorm. Musa sat down beside her.

"Lifegaurd class. Is it fun?" asked Musa

"No. Cordatorta is in charge of it. He's like a drill sergeant!"

"Hey, if you don't want to continue the class, you don't have to."

"No!I want a job!I want to make money! I'll become a lifeguard!"

Musa just sat there, and thought.

----

The next day in shop class, Cordatorta came up to Sky.

"Hey, I saw you with Bloom at the pool yesterday after her class."

"Yeah. is there anything you need to tell me?"

"Yeah. you ever seen Rocky?" asked Cordatorta.

"Yeah. Bloom showed me it once."

"Well, take advice from Mickey, it doesn't matter what sex you are, don't hang out with Bloom as much -

Women weaken legs, but guys weaken legs too!"

Sky agreed. as soon as Cordatorta walked out, Sky pulled out his cellphone, and called Bloom.

"Yes?" asked Bloom

"Hey, Cordo told me that i'm supposed to lay off of you for a while."

"Really?"

"He'll tell you the same thing. Just giving you a heads-up."

Sky and Bloom then said bye and closed the phones.

Riven, standing a few feet away from Sky, began to think of a joke.

------------

"You turds! Welcome to day 2! This day will be harder than the first!"

Bloom flinched a little.

Cordatorta walked up to her.

"Hey! Glad to see today you got rid of the bikini!"

Bloom remembered what Cordatorta said about bikinis. They'd slow her down. So she borrowed Tecna's one piece suit.

"Ok! You worms in my grandma's ass, do 3 laps!"

Bloom did her laps a lot quicker. She was 75 percent of the way on her 3rd lap when the rest of the boys were done.

"Ok! now, today, you're gonna get a horrific view of life without properlylifeguards! Grab a chair and sit down!"

Bloom and Mark sat down beside each other.

"Do we get popcorn?" asked a boy, jokingly

"No! This is a 3rd world Lifeguard class! Get into that pool and swim one lap!"

The boy did. After he was finished, he came sat back down.

"Ok! Now, you're going to watch a film!"

Cordatorta put the tape in and hit play. The film started.

_A boy walked along the beach, and saw a drowning girl out at a distance._

_There was a slow motion scene of the boy running into the water._

Then, Cordatorta stopped the tape.

"I don't want you asswipes to do that! Running in slow motion is for lifeguards with big boobs who want to look

fabulous running into the water!"

He then restarted the tape

_The boy was on the water, he swam out about 30 feet, then a big wave hit him._

Cordatorta stopped the tape again.

"This boy must have been blind! There's a freaking pier beside him that he could have just ran on and then jumped off into the water!"

Bloom was starting to get a grip on this video.

"And also, where the Hell is his life presever? The ring? He doesn't have it!"

_The tape continued and the boy somehow got through the waves, but he couldn't see the girl._

Cordatorta then spoke.

"If he did what I just said he should have done, he would have actaully saved the girl."

everyone agreed.

"Now, the next part shows the sharks eating the girl. For the Baywatch girl and pretty boys, you shouldn't see it!"

Bloom stayed put. Mark did, as well.

Cordatorta played the tape

_The sharks saw the girl's body in the water. They came closer._

_The girl looked down and saw the wide open mouthes of sharks_

Bloom covered her eyes as the scene happened. But Mark kept his eyes on the screen. He then was laughing.

"Why are you laughing, Mark?" asked Bloom

Bloom looked at the screen. It wasn't a feeding frenzy. The girl turned kung-fu on the sharks!

Everyone laughed. Cordatorta was steaming.

"Who did this?" he asked. Then he ejected the tape and looked.

It said ' Sky's horror film - Girl kicking shark's ass '

Cordatorta walked up to Bloom

"Your boyfriend trying to play games with me?" asked Cordatorta

Bloom looked at the tape. She stared in horror.

In Sky's room at Red Fountain, he was laughing his head off.

"Man! Cordy's gonna be pissed!"

Him and Riven were looking on a TV screen. A camera placed carefully at the pool was the reason for this.

_It was the night before._

_Riven climbed through the roof. The pool was dark. the water splashed against the sides of the pool._

_Riven swung alongside to the side of the pool.A poster showed _

_"National Syncronized Swimming Championships - June 27th, 28th, 29th, 2003."_

_Riven poked a hole in the 'o' in championships, and placed the camera in there. Outside,_

_Sky set up a small satellite that would beam the signals back to his dorm._

Cordatorta burst into Sky's dorm when he arrived back at Red fountain after teaching his class.

"Sky! Get your damn ass out here now!"

Sky and Riven walked out with smiles on their faces.

"You messed up the tape, didn't you?" asked Cordatorta.

"Well, we sorta made it more intresting." said Riven

"No! Now next class we will go over a punishment!" said Cordatorta.

----------

About a week had gone by since Bloom had started Lifeguard class. She hadn't seen Sky in a while.

She asked Cordatorta why he wasn't around.

"You remember the tape? Well, I punished him for that."

'What did you do to Sky?" asked Bloom

"He's cleaning my car with a toothbrush! And every mistake costs him 100 push-ups!"

Class started, this time, Cordatorta had something different planned.

"Today, class, we are gonna save a bunch of dumbasses! AKA - plastic dummies!"

All the boys didn't change their expression. They wern't like 'Yahoo!' or something like that.

"Ok, you'll all need a partner!"

Bloom and Mark stuck together.

"Ok group! there's 10 dummies going into the water! You need to save all of them in 2 minutes, otherwise, they drown."

2 different boys started first. Bloom asked Mark a question.

"Hey Mark, do you have a girlfriend?" Asked Bloom

"Yes. Do you have a boyfriend?" Asked Mark

"Yes. His name is Sky. He's the prince of Eraklyon." Said Bloom

"My girlfriend is Layla. You might know her. Dark skin." Said Mark

"She's my friend! She never said anything about a boyfriend!"

"Well, she wanted to keep it under wraps, you know?" said Mark

"Oh, well, I won't say anything."

Just then, Cordatorta yelled.

"Romeo and Juliet! Get your goddamn asses out there!"

Bloom and Mark dived into the water. Mark got a hold of one dummy and pulled him up by his arms. Bloom was having trouble

with the other one. Mark quickly got his up and dived back down to help Bloom. He got a hold of the dummy

Bloom had and helped her bring it up. After a quick breath, He went back down.

Bloom took a while to catch her breath and followed him.

The clock was at 1:50 when there was one dummy left. Bloom and Mark were both tired. Mark was too bent on passing to stay tired.

He went back down and got the last dummy. Bloom stayed up on the surface. As soon as the clockwas 1:55, they

got the dummy on the pool deck.

"Time!" said Cordatorta.

Mark used the last of his energy to climb out of the pool. Bloom did as well. The both of them lay on the pool deck.

Cordatorta looked down at them.

"I'm suprised, beginners! 1:55! Most beginners get it done in 3 minutes. But just wait! You'll have to do Mouth-to-Mouth"

Mark just sat there, regaining his energy.

After the rest of the class finished, Cordatorta told them something.

"Ok! Now, since you've been like real soldiers, you get to sit in the sauna for half an hour!"

The whole group walked into the sauna. Bloom and Mark sat with each other.

"I just joined this class, not the army." said a boy

"Dude, when my brother said Cordatorta was a drill sarge, he wasn't kidding."

Just then, the door opened. the huge Cordatorta walked in. With long shorts. He had a big, ripped, hairy chest.

All the boys were suprised. But no one more suprised than Bloom. Some of the boys had small

bits of hair on their chests, but this guy was a monster!

"Hello class. You guys and girl, are all working hard. Damn hard. I shouldn't be dissing you anymore."

Everyone agreed.

"Now, next class, we'll be in the gym! I've seen some of you try to lift the dummies. They aren't like little toy soldiers!

They're huge monsters!"

Bloom felt her arms. They were sore.

"Try an imagine a Ken doll 15 times it's size. That's how big those dummies are." added a boy

"I agree." said another.

"Of course. Eventually, you'll be rescuing Barbie dolls 15 times their size. Because that's just the way this class is!" Said Cordatorta

Bloom and Mark talked among themselves for the rest of the class.

-------------

It was 3 weeks since Bloom started her lifeguard training. She was now more physically fit,

she was one step closer to a summer job, and since

Tecna wanted her swimsuit back (She was afraid Bloom would stretch it) Bloom got another one piece suit.

Then came the day Bloom sent in a resume that Timmy helped her put together (because he was bored that day,

And he needed to show off his brain's power) and about an hour later, she got an email stating that the

leader of the lifeguards said she could join. Bloom was more than happy.

Then came the first day of her shift. After learning the rules and pointing them out to people, she got a job at the beach.

A beach in Solaria, that is. Mark also got a job as a lifeguard. On the same beach.

Then came that one fateful day. All of Bloom's friends Came to the beach during the summer.

While all of bloom's friends were talking to her, Riven ran out to the beach, in a race with Sky. the 2 of them, being competitive

also wanted to see who could swim farther and faster. The object was one of the buoys about 100 metres from shore.

Riven got out a bit farther than Sky did. Mark, farther down the beach, was watching out in the distance.

Soon, Riven touched the buoy. Sky ,about 20 metres from him, admitted defeat and began to swim back for shore.

Riven followed. But an undercurrent was making him tired.

_Must, continue, swimming._ He thought.

Soon, it just became too much for him. But he still tried desperately.

Bloom saw Sky coming in. But no Riven.

"Hey Sky, where's Riven?" she called out to him.

"He's still out at the buoy." said Sky

Bloom overlooked the waves and saw Riven there, but then he let go, and started to get carried out to sea.

"Riven!" she yelled out at him

Riven then realized he was done unless he got help. He let out a faint, but audible "Help!"

"Musa! Go and get that lifeguard there!I need help!" said Bloom

Musa took off for Mark.

Bloom looked around. She saw a place where the water was less rough. She grabbed the life ring and ran out to the beach.

Musa got to Mark and told him what Bloom saw. He immediately jumped from his seat, and ran after Bloom to help her.

Riven, from this point, was drowning.

Bloom saw Riven's hand calling for help.

Bloom got out to Riven and saw that the undercurrent was too much for him. She threw the life ring at Riven's hand, and he gripped it.

Soon, Mark was out there to help Bloom. As they pulled Riven into calmed water, he let go of the ring.

Bloom gasped in horror, but Mark dived into the water, and after 20 seconds of calm, resurfaced with Riven's body.

"I've got him! I'll hold on to him. Help me by pulling the ring!" said Mark

Bloom swam up ahead with the rope, while Mark swam, holding Riven's body on his back.

Soon, they were both on shore. Riven was out cold.

"He needs mouth-to-mouth!" said Mark.

Bloom got down on her knees and began giving Riven mouth-to-mouth.

_The only thing Riven could see was the water rushing into him. He was still alive._

_Then he looked out into the distance. He saw a lady-like fish._

_It must have been a mermaid, or so Riven thought._

_It came up closer. It started coming at his mouth. It was kissing him. soon, he was coughing..._

Bloom then felt Riven cough. Riven coughed up some water and continuned to cough.

"Oh man! what happened!" said Riven

Bloom looked at him and said

"You drowned. Me and my friend Mark saved you."

Riven sat up and held his head.

"Oh man, I just had the weirdest dream."

"What was it?" asked Mark

"Like a mermaid was trying to kiss me."

Everyone stood silent for a second. All the guys looked at Riven. All the girls looked at Bloom.

"EWWWW!" they all said.

---------------

In the end, Bloom and Mark were both featured in the paper as heroes. Layla finally admitted Mark was her boyfriend. Bloom kept the job the rest of the summer. When she got back to her home realm, She became a lifeguard at the local YMCA as a Year-round job.

-----------------

I got the idea for this story becauseI needed a comedy story andI just happened to find a page about the TV show baywatch.

Read and review.


End file.
